Tracy Rappold, Exton Therapist, License #PC008501

407 W Lincoln Hwy Suite 50 West Exton, PA 19341

T: 484-459-9808  E: Tracy@counselingexton.com

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Why do I have to be good at everything?

Updated: Nov 4, 2019

Do I always have to be good at everything? For that matter, do I always have to be right? The things that I don’t like to do or am not good at, other people like to do and succeed. Also, I do not have to feel bad about it. I do not expect everyone is the same as me with the same interests or talents.


Do we have to be good at every subject to succeed? I don’t think so. Actually, from what I see people have different talents. People are intelligent in different ways. You could be good at geometry (I am definitely not). I could be good at psychology (maybe).


Let go, relax, and take a deep breath. Read a lot.


Try to learn about what really interests you. Try to figure out what you are passionate about. Become a good listener. There is nothing wrong with being a curious person. Curiosity is the hallmark of higher intelligence. When you do not know something and you listen, that is where you learn. However, accept that you just cannot learn everything.


Perhaps feeling like we are not good at something limits us if we let it. It can mess with our self-esteem. Maybe the thought that we should be good at everything stems from wanting to please other people. Steve Jobs said “Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice.”


While I wanted my children to be autonomous thinkers that questioned why they were being asked to do certain tasks, I also asked them to conform by doing well at schoolwork and getting good grades. I was afraid that if they did not succeed in school it would affect their happiness later in life. So, do the work, learn how to learn, but understand that it is not a measure of your worth. I wanted them to question but not self-sabotage. What a balance! To maintain your sense of self, who you really are and still meet some of society’s expectations.


What if we dare to let go of being good at every task? Being good at something takes focus and discipline, reserve it for the thing you care about.


Develop your own abilities. Be your best self.