I find myself telling my clients "Don't be so mean to yourself", often. And even now, reflecting, I agree that this is good advice. We often don't realize this running commentary is going on in the background, but our self-talk can have a big influence on how we feel about who we are. The way you talk to yourself can really impact your self-confidence.
Negative self-talk is any inner dialogue you have with yourself that may be limiting your ability to believe in yourself, and therefore interfere with you reaching your potential. Negative self-talk makes you feel awful about yourself and the things that are going on. Negative self-talk tends to make people pretty unhappy and can even impact their recovery from mental health issues. It can really contribute to depression.
Make no mistake, this is not the same thing as being positive all the time. It’s not possible, or helpful, to be positive all the time, either. We are made messy. Who am I to say that I am not made perfectly; that my flaws are not perfectly who I am? Why do I pick what I will accept in myself and dismiss the rest? It is as if we are trying to purify ourselves. This is not loving yourself, instead it sounds like rationalizing self-hatred. At first it can look good like we have a goal of improvement but that goal is achieved through hatred of yourself.
Don’t be so negative. ;)