Murderous Rage and Caveman Responses
Often, this theme of anger comes up in my practice. You know, that burst of adrenaline you get when something really p*&%es you off. We all experience the feeling of being angry. We would not want it to go away entirely either. You want to be able to fight or flee if someone is attacking you. But are they? Sometimes, little things aggravate and distress you that wouldn’t matter much if it was another day, but now it’s stressing you out. Anger is the feeling. And regardless of what causes you to feel angry, it’s how you handle it that matters most.
Now, every person at some point in their life have had serious anger outbursts at something. Your out of control anger outbursts not only have adverse effects on you but it has a negative impact on the people around you. Friends and family members will be hurt to see you in distress and rage constantly. You might be having heated arguments or screaming and shouting in rage. Resolving a conflict by acting out on your anger is never a viable solution, it creates more problems by escalating the issue at hand. Rather than losing control and channeling anger into acting out, anger could be channeled into speaking up for yourself, getting your point across, being heard.
1. Take three deep breaths.
2. Whoever loses it, loses. Losing your temper makes you look like the bad guy to everyone else, no matter who is really at fault.
3. Go for a walk. When you get really angry, walk away from the source. A 5-minute walk outside or another calming activity like yoga are great coping strategies for dealing with anger.
One last thought, knowing which battles to fight, and which to leave for another day, or even walk away from altogether is critical to being successful in life. If you find yourself fighting too many battles, on too many fronts, you will end up feeling drained of emotional, mental and physical energy. What’s more, your relationships will inevitably suffer as a result. We are all just people, struggling to lead happy, healthy, meaningful lives. Even the people who anger you.